I went back to the doctor's last Friday and got the confirmation to cancel this month's cycle. At least this time I was prepared. After Monday's appointment, I just knew that this month would not happen.
I'll admit I'm sad. I feel like I always feel - broken. I know that things will turn around and we'll have our family when we're supposed to, but for now I just feel sad and broken. And that's okay. I feel lucky that right now I've got a bunch of stuff going on to distract me. I'm processing, but I'm able to do it in small doses which is all I can handle right now.
So the next step is Cycle 2. I get a double dose of chlomid (more commonly referred to as my "crazy pills"). Pray Garrett and my young women make it through this next cycle unscathed - my nurse said that the increased dose will make me a little more crazy than the one I just had! Yikes! But hopefully my extra crazy will result in some cute wonderful miracle we'll call our own :)