April 23, 2012

Cycle 1: Cancelled

I went back to the doctor's last Friday and got the confirmation to cancel this month's cycle.  At least this time I was prepared.  After Monday's appointment, I just knew that this month would not happen.

I'll admit I'm sad.  I feel like I always feel - broken.  I know that things will turn around and we'll have our family when we're supposed to, but for now I just feel sad and broken.  And that's okay.  I feel lucky that right now I've got a bunch of stuff going on to distract me.  I'm processing, but I'm able to do it in small doses which is all I can handle right now.

So the next step is Cycle 2.  I get a double dose of chlomid (more commonly referred to as my "crazy pills").  Pray Garrett and my young women make it through this next cycle unscathed - my nurse said that the increased dose will make me a little more crazy than the one I just had!  Yikes! But hopefully my extra crazy will result in some cute wonderful miracle we'll call our own :)

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